College football recruits all have Twitter accounts.
Many college football fans also have Twitter accounts.
You can see the problem.
Here are the people you’ll find camped out in the little comments section beneath every blue-chip recruit’s tweet.
1. The deceptively positive “I hope you make the right decision, but that decision should be to come to my school” bro
2. The dude who’s obsessed with his school being good at one exact thing, which happens to be the exact thing the recruit does on the football field
3. ROLL TIDE
4. The begging/hoping/praying guy
5. The guy who’s mad the recruit didn’t go to his school. But actually, he’s not mad. This is just funny to him.
6. The “I’ll just send them a bunch of emojis!” guy
7. The people who just send school-related GIFs
8. The guy who’s really focused on the quality of the recruit’s degree
9. Mr. All Our Rivals Are About to Get NCAA-Banned
10. The guy who’s just sending a screenshot of a screenshot of a meme the school already sent to the recruit a few days ago
11. The guy who sends every recruit who’s gotten an offer the first four Google image search results for his team’s name
This is also what recruits do every time they receive an offer. Google image search is a key component of college football recruiting.
12-15. The people who get into totally random arguments in recruits’ mentions
Here’s how the argument will go:
16. The guy who’s just here to make Photoshops for players so he can say he knows them
Edits Guy is 14 years old. Everyone else here is 37.
(And yes, these guys are all guys.)