clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

What could South Carolina do with $2 million?

New, 5 comments

The Banner Society Advent Calendar’s entry for December 10

When South Carolina fired Will Muschamp in November, the buyout the Gamecocks owed their dismissed coach was reported to be around $13 million. I would advise you not to stop and wonder aloud what Muschamp would spend that money on, lest you be cursed with Instagram ads for bulk jerky and punch-proof whiteboards.

You should, however, join me in thinking about how South Carolina could have spent the extra $2 million it turns out they owe Muschamp.

How does a school oopsie itself into that much additional payout? By getting the Board of Trustees to approve a reduction in Muschamp’s buyout, then not having either of the parties sign the agreement.

To help South Carolina learn from this mistake and do better going forward, I have compiled a sample list of items they could have bought with that two million, partially in the style of The Twelve Days of Christmas:

With two million dollars, the Gamecocks could have bought

Twelve chocolate fountains ($647.87)

Eleven thousand Nerf guns ($475,081.20)

Ten suits of armor ($40,489.20)

Nine pressure washers ($3,586.68)

Eight Toyota Tundras ($290,952)

Seven in-ground pools ($238,065.07)

Six dragon statues ($22,679.94)

Five Big Green Eggs ($4,854.60)

Four Airstream trailers ($699,408)

Three hundred crossbows ($217,076.76)

Two dentist chairs ($7,123.68)

And a photo signed by Reba ($35.00)