Across the long and storied history of Batman Friday, we have yet to address one of the most iconic elements of Bat-lore: the music video for “Kiss from a Rose,” written and performed by Seal and part of the Batman Forever soundtrack.
The song itself is inscrutable. Like, just take this snippet and tell me you’re confident you know what it means:
But did you know that when it snows
My eyes become large and
The light that you shine can’t be seen?
Why would your eyes getting larger make you WORSE at seeing light? Dammit, Seal, this is why you got kicked out of optometry school!
We’re here to discuss the video, however. If you have not seen it, congratulations on ending that streak.
I have, at press time, 21 questions about this video. In no particular order:
- The Batmobile is seen driving towards (or at least very near) the Bat-Signal at the start of this video. Why doesn’t Batman ever show up on the roof?
- How did Seal get on the roof of the Gotham City Police Department?
- Does Seal work for the GCPD?
- If so, is he a salaried employee or a contractor?
- How is that position listed in the city budget?
- Did Seal turn on the Bat-Signal for the purposes of this musical number, or was it already illuminated?
- Is Seal wearing pajamas?
- Does Seal sleep on this roof?
- Isn’t he cold?
- Did you know The Neverending Story III was the first movie to use this song, not Batman Forever?
- Did you know this wasn’t the first music video for this song?
- Was Seal planning a mononymous-people-only party?
- If so, are Cher and Nenê and Sinbad coming?
- At 2:10, the Bat-Signal shining in the sky is shown from inside Wayne Manor, where Bruce Wayne is hanging out with Dr. Chase Meridian. Is Batman just ignoring this call to action?
- Or does he know it’s just Seal wanting to jam and doesn’t want to bother?
- If Batman does show up, does Seal have business to discuss?
- Would Batman comment on Seal’s attire during that meeting, or is he so used to unusual outfits that it wouldn’t even occur to him?
- Or could it be that this is Seal’s roof, not the police department’s, and he’s constructed his own Bat-Signal?
- To what end, though?
- Wait, is it possible that, in the universe of this music video, Seal is Batman?
- Does that make Bruce Wayne an R&B superstar?