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108 college football mascots, ranked by dogness

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Which FBS mascots are the most and least dog? Let’s ask an 11-year-old expert.

Getty, Banner Society illustration

There are not enough dog mascots. But every animal is at least a little bit dog. It’s time to rank them by how dog they are.

A few rules:

  • I looked at each one on Google and kept score of dogness.
  • A few of these mascots might have changed, but that’s too bad, because this is what I saw on Google.
  • Most real animals are more dog than most costumed mascots, unless the costumed animals are costumed dogs.
  • Cats don’t act like dogs.
  • I don’t like reptiles.

Here are the rankings:

  1. Oregon’s “Puddles” The Duck
  2. Tulsa’s Goldie the retriever
  3. Tennessee’s Smokey the hound
  4. NIU’s huskies, including a statue (cute)
  5. Washington’s Dubs the Malamute (cute)
  6. UConn’s Jonathan the husky (cute)
  7. Texas A&M’s Reveille the important collie
  8. NC State’s Tamaskan (cute)
  9. Mississippi State’s Bully the bulldog
  10. Georgia’s Uga the bulldog
  11. Louisiana Tech’s Tech the bulldog
  12. Fresno State’s Victor E. Bulldog the bulldog
  13. Colorado’s Ralphie the bison on a leash (cute)
  14. LSU’s Mike the tiger (adorable)
  15. Cincinnati’s Lucy the bearcat (cute). There’s also a costumed bearcat who was once arrested for throwing snowballs (great)
  16. Nevada’s costumed wolf people
  17. Memphis’ TOM the tiger (sleepy)
  18. Arkansas State’s costumed red wolves
  19. New Mexico’s costumed wolves (terrible)
  20. Western Kentucky’s Big Red the Big Red (great)
  21. Stanford’s homemade trees (amazing)
  22. Syracuse’s Otto the orange (pretty good)
  23. Auburn’s Aubie the costumed tiger and his real eagle friends
  24. Minnesota’s Goldie the costumed gopher
  25. Navy’s Bill the goat (great)
  26. Arkansas’ Tusk the boar
  27. Colorado State’s CAM the ram (pretty good)
  28. Baylor’s Judges the bears
  29. North Carolina’s Rameses the ram
  30. Alabama’s costumed elephant (pretty good)
  31. Akron’s costumed kangaroo
  32. UCLA’s costumed bear
  33. Cal’s scary costumed bear (terrible)
  34. Oregon State’s costumed beaver, a friend/enemy of “Puddles”
  35. Miami’s Sebastian the ibis, who has a gun and was also kind of arrested during a game
  36. Wyoming’s Cowboy Joe the pony
  37. SMU’s Peruna the pony
  38. Oklahoma’s crazy horses who love to knock things over as a team (very dog behavior)
  39. Army’s mules
  40. Florida State’s Renegade, the horse who fell over
  41. Texas Tech’s horse
  42. Rutgers’ horse from Medieval Times (I used to eat turkey legs there, but then I became a pescatarian, but now I’m a vegetarian. I don’t eat fish any more.)
  43. Virginia’s horse
  44. USC’s Traveler the horse
  45. UCF’s horse from Medieval Times
  46. Boise State’s costumed horse
  47. Western Michigan’s costumed horse (pretty good, also terrible)
  48. Ole Miss’ costumed shark
  49. Middle Tennessee’s costumed horse
  50. Wisconsin’s costumed badger
  51. Buffalo’s costumed bull
  52. Marshall’s costumed bison
  53. Utah State’s costumed bull
  54. USF’s costumed bull (terrible)
  55. South Carolina’s Sir Big Spur the chicken
  56. Air Force’s Falcon the falcon
  57. Georgia Southern’s Freedom the eagle
  58. Boston College’s Baldwin the eagle
  59. Temple’s Stella the owl (cute)
  60. FAU’s costumed burrowing owl (dogs also love burrowing)
  61. Tulane’s costumed pelican
  62. UTSA’s costumed roadrunner
  63. Georgia Tech’s costumed yellow jacket (pretty good)
  64. Virginia Tech’s costumed turkey (pretty funny)
  65. ULM’s costumed hawk with a plane (ridiculous)
  66. Iowa State’s costumed cardinal
  67. Bowling Green’s costumed falcon
  68. Kansas’ costumed “jayhawk”
  69. Iowa’s costumed hawk (pretty good)
  70. Kent State’s costumed eagle
  71. Coastal Carolina’s costumed chicken
  72. Southern Miss’ costumed eagle
  73. Eastern Michigan’s costumed eagle
  74. Utah’s costumed hawk
  75. Louisville’s costumed cardinal
  76. North Texas’ costumed eagle
  77. Miami (Ohio)’s costumed hawk
  78. Ball State’s costumed cardinal
  79. Rice’s costumed owl (terrible)
  80. Liberty’s costumed eagle (terrible)
  81. Old Dominion’s costumed lion with a crown
  82. Northwestern’s costumed wildcat (pretty good)
  83. Clemson’s costumed tiger
  84. Ohio’s costumed bobcat who fights more important mascots
  85. Kentucky’s costumed wildcat
  86. Washington State’s costumed cougar
  87. Houston’s costumed cougar who lost a fight to “Puddles”
  88. Arizona’s costumed wildcat
  89. South Alabama’s costumed jaguar
  90. Penn State’s costumed cougar
  91. FIU’s costumed panther
  92. Pitt’s costumed panther
  93. UAB’s costumed dragon (not a real dragon, but pretty good)
  94. Missouri’s costumed tiger
  95. Texas State’s costumed bobcat
  96. Georgia State’s costumed panther (terrible)
  97. BYU’s costumed cougar (terrible)
  98. Maryland’s costumed turtle (terrible x5)
  99. Florida’s costumed alligators
  100. TCU’s costumed horned frog
  101. Ohio State’s buckeye who lost a fight to Ohio’s bobcat
  102. Kansas State’s terrible wildcat (very terrible)
  103. Duke’s costumed devil
  104. Arizona State’s costumed devil
  105. Wake Forest’s costumed person who’s supposed to be a demon
  106. All the people/other mascots
  107. Michigan’s invisible wolverine
  108. Texas’ Bevo the longhorn, who attacked Uga the bulldog (mean x100)