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Batman Friday Presents: B A T D R A F T

You wanted a mock draft

Mexican free tail bats, Tadarida brasiliensis, swarming out of cave, New Mexico, USA Photo by: Auscape/Universal Images Group via Getty Images

Silently behind a door, it waits.

CLEO

Look at that motor. Just nonstop. That bat’s hungry. Active eyes, sees the whole field. But also understands the game, isn’t just playing along. Good reach. Might be a little undersized, but plays bigger than she is. Had coaches raving at every stop of the combine.

BENGER

Tendency to take plays off. Focused when he wants to be, can make that play, but needs to then get up and make the next play. Development may be an issue; he’s not showing us a lot. High-risk but potentially high-ceiling, too.

HENRY

Obviously all the physical gifts you want, as talented as they come ... and yet, questions linger. Is it possible to be too lustrous? Question is, frankly, can he move, and does he have the desire to be a pro? Look at him. Potential prima donna. Concerns about regarding his ability to absorb a complex scheme in a limited timeframe.

BUD

What a scrapper. Overlooked due to his size, but a total gym rat with the ability to grow into this frame, and lots of room to develop. He’s gonna be raw, and teams should be aware of that, but you will not find a bigger heart. Given all that, it’s hard to even point out that his injury history will be an issue here, but you can’t gut your way through a torn ACL.

STATLER

A real thinker, and faster than he looks due to reach and length. He may look like he’s loafing, but at the end of the play there’s a tackle for loss to his name. Not likely to wow in interviews; very introspective. Don’t often see a lanky guy like this at his position, but don’t let him fool you. Strong like an ox. An ox made of bats.

TERRY

Every defense needs a madman. Somebody who’s just a little out of control. You can’t make a whole team out of ‘em, but you can’t make a team without one. Literally have to peel him off the ceiling sometimes. Surround him with senior leadership to keep him calm when the moment calls for it, but when it’s time to go, he’s gonna be the tip of the spear.

COCONUT

Has the advantage of a few years in juco, and unlike other bats who might be more talented on paper, is immensely coachable. Reach, power, eyes for days. First-rounder. Coco’s an energy guy, a glue guy. People just like being around him, and it shows. Might not know the playbook; frankly, with this talent, it might not matter.

FREDDY

A real show-me type. Not saying he’s a first rounder, or even a second rounder, but if you want a real diamond in the rough who’ll do anything to make the roster? You can teach cover 2, you can teach bump-and-run. You can’t teach fearlessness. I call him Freddy fearless, on account of the fearlessness.

The 2021 NFL draft begins at 8 p.m. ET on Thursday, April 29. We’re pretty sure.