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The Openers

Every year, Spencer writes a big blog at the start of college football season. They are finally collected in one place for your convenience.

JUKE

Southern University’s Human Jukebox is your favorite marching band’s favorite marching band.

VOLUNTEER

ELEPHANT

TIGER

There was an uncle who was an eye surgeon.

GAMECOCK

Marcus Lattimore is perfect.

WHEN THE LEVEE BREAKS

WHAT’S LEFT IS WHAT’S PRACTICED

BUFFALO

ALSO KNOWN AS THE AMERICAN BISON

BROKE

Pay them their goddamn money.

THE BIG COUNTRY/RUN

I WOULDN'T LIVE THERE IF YOU PAID ME TO

THE BUSINESS OF PROTECTION

IT IS NEVER, EVER ABOUT YOU

10.15.94

At the end, there will be a long silence. Then we begin again.

GOD'S AWAY ON BUSINESS

This year’s opening piece is not last year’s piece, and could not be after this offseason. Down the rabbit hole we go.

FOOTBALL SEASON IS OVER. FOOTBALL SEASON HAS BEGUN.